Embracing Calm: How to Rise Above Conflict
Conflict is a natural part of life that everyone encounters at some point, and how we respond to it is what sets us apart from one another. Some individuals remain calm in the face of challenges, while others may react explosively to even minor issues. Life tests our patience in various ways—be it from a difficult coworker or a family member. It can be a real struggle to find the strength to rise above it all. However, choosing peace over conflict not only enhances your relationships but also promotes your overall well-being. So, let’s chat about what it means to be the bigger person and how you can embrace the calm.
Pause & Reflect
This is the absolute HARDEST thing to do…but before reacting, take a moment to breathe and assess the situation. This can help you respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. Ask yourself the 3-3-3-3-3…If you answer no to any of those, let it go. “Will this matter in 3 minutes? 3 hours? 3 days? 3 weeks? 3 years?” I mean those 3’s can really go on forever…but most of the time you’ll answer “no” very early on.
Practice Empathy
Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Understanding how they feel and what motivates them can really help you respond with compassion. We’ve all heard the saying “put yourself in their shoes” since we were kids, right? It’s a simple but powerful reminder to think about how we’d feel in someone else’s situation. This approach is just as relevant today when we’re trying to figure out why someone acted or reacted the way they did. Practice empathy - taking a moment to truly understand where others are coming from can strengthen our connections and lead to better conversations.
Communicate Clearly
When a conversation is needed, approach it calmly and openly. Use "I" statements to share your feelings without placing blame, and encourage the other person to express themselves similarly. Keep in mind that some individuals may not be ready to discuss the conflict immediately; they might need time to reflect. Avoid pushing for a conversation if they're not willing at that moment. Instead of fixating on the problem, focus on constructive ways to move forward. This shifts the emphasis from conflict to resolution.
A coworker recently shared a thought about texting that really resonated with me: “I always tell my wife not to text—pick up the phone and talk instead. If she texts me and I have to reply with more than one word, I pick up the phone and call. Texting leaves so much open to interpretation, and you end up hearing the message in the voice you want to hear. She was getting bent out of shape recently because of some text, and I reread it to her in my own voice, no sass. It’s a completely different perception when you do this.” Hearing this story was a great reminder, especially in a world where we often send long text messages—I've been guilty of this too. It’s tempting to rely on texting because it feels easier and removes the emotional weight, but if you’re feeling strongly about something, maybe it’s best to avoid texting altogether. Direct conversations can lead to clearer understanding and fewer misunderstandings…And FaceTime or in person chats make it even better. There’s something to be said about seeing and hearing the emotion and empathy.
Let Go of Grudges
Holding onto anger or resentment can weigh you down. Try to release those feelings, not for them, but for your own peace of mind. Every time you find yourself getting irritated about a situation or with a certain person, revisit the pause & reflect stage - then move into empathy. Repeat that as many times as you need to until you no longer feel that way.
Know When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the best choice is to disengage from a toxic situation. Prioritize your mental health and peace of mind. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help you remain resilient in challenging situations.
Takeaways
Pause & Reflect before reacting to a situation or comment.
Empathy is essential for understanding and connecting with others.
Clear communication can lead to resolution and prevent misunderstandings.
Letting go of grudges is crucial for your well-being.
Knowing when to disengage protects your mental health.
P.S. The motivation behind this post stemed from a conversation with a coworker, but we’ve all been there at some point and I felt the need to share. This message is so relatable in all of our lives.
